


the way that I like you

by t_hens



Series: never wanna be EXES [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Phan, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Mentions of homophobia, Mild Smut, One Shot, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction, Pining, reality based, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 14:57:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14595483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_hens/pseuds/t_hens
Summary: Dan is sure that he and Phil are just friends. That he’s the only one who has feelings they are trying not to show. When he finally gets to meet Phil he tells himself that this is the time to get over his crush.But the view of the city from their car on the Manchester Wheel and having Phil look at him like that has him wondering if maybe he isn’t the only one. Maybe Phil likes him in the same way.





	the way that I like you

**Author's Note:**

> song title/loosely inspired by ‘Like You’ by EXES
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/track/68rwyMRlY7XRFKf6GTmy9n?si=e8doUdluQNKpPuUJykthiw

From: Phil - hey dan ^_^  
From: Phil - what are you doing?  
From: Phil - can you skype?  
From: Phil - dannnn  
From: Phil - I’m bored.  
From: Phil - talk to me!!!  
From: Dan - wow i leave my phone for 20 minutes to revise and this is what happens?  
From: Phil - dan! you’re back! I thought you were dead.  
From: Dan - dramatic much lol  
From: Phil - yes, but I’ve been so bored. Mom and dad are out of the house and Martyn is at a friends so I’m all alone. Plus you were ignoring me /:  
From: Dan - i was not ignoring you i was just revising. i can skype if you still want to though  
From: Phil - yes please :)

The sound of the skype tone fills Dan’s room moments later and he reaches to adjust the volume on his laptop, not wanting his parents to overhear their conversation. He presses accept on the call and Phil’s grainy face fills the screen. His hair is messy and unkempt, like he had just showered and didn’t bother brushing it. His t-shirt is a little big on him and gives Dan a peek of that lovely patch of chest hair and his pale collarbones. Dan realizes he’s staring and hasn’t said anything so he gives an awkward wave. Phil does that adorable chuckle and he can just see the tiniest peek of his tongue through his teeth.

“How was revising,” Phil asks. He leans forward and more of his face fills up the screen. Dan picks at a stray string on his blanket and avoids Phil’s eye contact.

“Fine, I guess.” He doesn’t see the point in any of it and knows that there isn’t much point in trying to tell Phil this. They’ve went round and round about how Phil thinks Dan is smart, he just needs to apply himself. Dan thinks that school is a waste of time and there are things he would much rather be doing with his time and focusing his energy on, rather than trying to get into University to study something he knows he’s going to hate. 

Phil seems to sense his hesitance and steers the conversations to safer waters. They chat for a while about random things, always finding ease in conversation. And when a lull hits after and hour or two it’s not uncomfortable or awkward as Dan usually feels about most silences. Phil has a way about making him feel at ease. 

“So, my parents and Martyn are gonna be out of town for a week next month,” Phil says. Dan nods, not sure how this information necessarily pertains to him, but always willing to listen to Phil talk about anything. He could listen to Phil talk about the weather and just be happy to hear his voice. 

“That’ll be nice to have the house to yourself,” Dan says, still doing that head nod thing for some reason. He stops himself once he realizes, hoping he doesn’t look like the moron he feels like. 

“Yea, well I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t be alone. I thought it would be a good chance for you to come visit?” Phil’s voice has gone up slightly in pitch, unintentionally turning the statement into a question. It takes Dan a little off guard to think about meeting Phil in real life. They have been talking about it for the last few months, of course. And of course Dan has been thinking about it. God has he been thinking about it. About how great it would be to see Phil up close and not a pixelated version. Get to hear what his voice is like without the aid of a shitty laptop microphone. Meeting Phil has been almost all he had been thinking about, far before they had started talking. He wanted to meet Phil back when he was just a face on Youtube making quirky and sometimes dark sketches. And here he was now, without a doubt Dan’s best friend, wanting to meet him in person. 

“Uh, yea.” Dan sees Phil flinch a little and probably hears what Phil interprets as hesitance in his voice. He extends his arms forward, as if to comfort Phil even though they are separated by almost two hundred miles and are merely connected by a webcam. 

“Of course I want to come visit! I just didn’t think you would really want to meet me,” Dan says. He ducks his head and can hear Phil breath a deep sigh. He’s not sure if it’s a sigh of relief or frustration because he’s still far more interested in picking at the threads on his duvet.

“I’m glad you want to visit. You can book train tickets, and we can go see the Manchester Eye. Or go to the Sky Bar, you would love it there. Or go get coffee and a movie. Anything really. I just want to hang out.” Dan glances up and Phil is smiling that smile that he only seems to smile for Dan. Or at least he thinks so, it certainly isn’t a smile he’s seen on AmazingPhil. He hopes at least that it’s a smile just for him. 

“Okay, I’ll look at train tickets later. I should probably go though. I still need to revise. And I need to go have dinner soon.” Phil pouts a little but doesn’t protest too much, making Dan promise to text him once he’s done revising. Dan promises and shuts off his laptop. Instead of going to his desk and revising, or going downstairs to see about helping his mom with dinner he sets his laptop on the floor next to his bed and flops himself down onto his pillows. ‘Fuck’ he thinks. He’s actually going to meet Phil. Really going to meet Phil. He wonders if it will make things easier or harder for him. If he can be close to him maybe his brain and his body will somehow realize that Phil is just supposed to be his friend and will chill the fuck out. Also maybe his heart, as it has a tendency to freak out a little every time his phone got a notification or his laptop alerts him he is getting a skype call.

It’s just a little crush he reasons. An internet crush on someone highly unattainable who also happens to be your best friend, who sees you as a best friend. Get your shit together, he tells himself again and again until he thinks it might actually be sinking in. 

 

*********************************

The month that leads to Dan’s visit is excruciatingly long. Every day drags on and on, seeming to take a little longer than the previous. Some positives occur though. Phil convinces Dan to film a video for his channel. An awkward introduction that Dan hates and tries to delete immediately. Phil loves it though and after days and days of coaxing and bribing him with a collab when he visits, Dan uploads it and then spends the rest of the evening hiding in his room, making Phil tell him stories on Skype to distract him from how nervous he is.

Before he knows it though, it’s the 19th and it’s half past way too early in the morning but he’s still on a train to Manchester Piccadilly Station to meet Phil. He taps his feet and shuffles around in his seat and he can *feel* the grumpy businessman next to him getting annoyed with how twitchy he’s being but he can’t help it. He’s so nervous. He’s actually meeting Phil, and if he’s being honest with himself he’s a little terrified. What if Phil doesn’t like him? What if Phil tells him to get back on the train and go home? He shakes his head a little. He knows he’s being dramatic but he can’t help it. He pulls his cell phone from his pocket and sees a few texts.

From: Phil - I’m here ready for you!  
From: Phil - can’t believe we actually get to meet!  
From: Phil - I’m so excited dan! ^_^

Dan smiles. It’s nice to know that Phil is excited too, though probably not as much as he is. He feels the train start to slow down so he puts his phone away and starts gathering his backpack rather than text back. When the train finally comes to a complete halt, Dan is one of the first ones in their compartments out of the door. His feet haven’t even hit the pavement yet and he is already starting to look for Phil. 

Thankfully it doesn’t take long to find him. Both of them being so tall is definitely an advantage in a place like this and Dan slowly makes his way over to Phil who still hasn’t spotted him. Dan stops a few feet away from Phil, giving him space if he needs it, and gives him his signature awkward wave when he finally sees him. 

Phil is 10 times more beautiful in person. Skype, Youtube, DailyBooth, Twitter; none of them did him any just. His black hair is sleek and shiny, but up this close Dan can see the beginnings of ginger roots starting to grow in. His skin is pale, and clear and those eyes. God. Dan wasn’t kidding when he said he could go swimming in them. Deep pools of bright blue, but in person he can see that he actually has two other colors; green and even a few spots of maybe yellow? Leave it to Phil to have kaleidoscope eyes.

Dan realizes he’s staring and is almost tempted to do the wave again when Phil pulls him in for a hug. It takes a second but Dan reciprocates, wrapping his arms around Phil’s waist. He smells so good and Dan has to resist taking a deep breath of whatever cologne it is that he’s wearing. That would be weird. Friends don't sniff each other. Dan takes a step back and he can feel his cheeks burning a little and tries to regain his composure. Phil seems to sense his need to chill because he says the exact words Dan needs to hear right now: “Coffee?”

 

************************

They make their way to the Starbucks around the corner and they both order Caramel Macchiatos and Phil bats Dan’s hand away when he tries to pay. Dan blushes a little more and they make their way over to a couch by the window in the corner and end up sitting right next to each other. Dan’s brain is having a hard time computing the fact that just yesterday he was talking on Skype with Phil and now here he is, inches away from him, buying him coffee and smiling at him in person. It feels like some sort of fever dream.

Phil asks him about his train ride and Dan can’t help the giggle that falls from his lips. Phil raises his eyebrows a little but doesn’t say anything.

“Sorry,” Dan says, taking a sip from his drink. “This is just a little crazy. I can’t believe I’m really here.” Phil’s answering smile is brilliant and Dan feels a little punch drunk in his presence. 

“I’m really glad you’re here. I’ve been wanting you to visit for so long. It’s hard having your best friend live so far away.” Phil knocks his knee into Dan’s and smiles again. They both sip their coffees and fall into easy conversation. When they are finished Phil starts leading the way out the door. They walk for a while, talking and banting. Dan notices that, just like with Skype, real life Phil is a bit more calm and quiet than AmazingPhil. But there are moments, when he gets excited to tell Dan something, or excited about something he sees, and his eyes will widen and his voice gets a little higher and Dan can see it. They are the same person but he’s thankful he gets to be one of the people who gets to see just Phil. 

Phil is also affectionate, which leads Dan to wonder if this is something he does with all of his friends, or if he is the exception. Phil sits close to him when he can, stands close enough that their fingers brush when they walk. When he gets excited about something he grabs and claws at Dan, one time even biting his finger when he saw an especially cute puppy. Dan pushes the thought that it’s special treatment aside though. It’s not a characteristic that would be crazy for Phil to have. 

He had told Dan during one of their Skype chats how he liked to be affectionate, especially when he dated someone. Dan had felt a spike of jealousy at that and had ended the conversation early that night, pretending to have a headache. He felt bad later but not so bad when he would get a flash of a faceless guy or girl getting touched by Phil. He held onto that jealous for longer than he was proud of. It still makes him feel a bit grumply to think about it today.

Phil starts leading them to another destination as the sun starts to set. Dan had stopped trying to pry the information out of Phil, since the only thing he tells him every time is ‘it’s a surprise.’ This surprise isn’t hard to guess though, since the Manchester Wheel is visible from a distance away. Dan looks over at Phil, who is beaming happily at the wheel and looks at Dan. They grin at each other for a moment and approach the wheel to buy tickets, smiles still on their face.

Since it’s a Monday night there aren’t many people in line and they are able to get a car to themselves. They stand on one side, Dan closest to the window to get the best view. They go for a while without speaking, just enjoying the view and it’s nice. The day has been so wonderful and fun and Dan still can’t believe he’s actually here. He glances over at Phil, expecting him to be looking out at the city like Dan has been but he’s looking at Dan instead. He doesn’t look away when they make eye contact. He holds it and Dan does too. 

Dan keeps thinking it should feel awkward but it doesn’t. It feels tense though, but in a way he’s never felt before. Every atom in his being is telling him to take those two steps forward and kiss Phil. And he really wants to and he’s scared that if he does Phil might reject him, but he also knows that if he is ever going to have a chance, now is it. So he takes those steps, hoping beyond hope that Phil will at least let him down gently, and kisses Phil. 

It’s just a gentle press of the lips, nothing earth shattering, or sexy but it’s nice. At least it is until Phil gives him a gentle push backwards. Dan steps backwards and meets Phil’s eyes before he can think better of it. Phil’s lips are pursed and he looks uncomfortable. Dan’s head drops to his chest and he wishes he could launch himself out of the car. He can hear Phil take a deep breath and feel the gentle pressure of Phil grabbing his hand. He wants to pull it away but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hurt Phil’s feelings, because regardless of what just happened he knows Phil’s rejection did not come from a place of malice.

“Hey, Dan. I just - I can’t okay. Not here. Not now.” He sounds like he’s pleading, but it’s all gone a bit white noise in Dan’s ears. He nods and gently pulls his hand away, turning back to look out the window again. The rest of the ride is thankfully short and when it’s over Phil leads them out and to the bus station where they both choose to stand rather than sit next to each other, though Dan isn’t sure whether they both decide that or Phil just mimics what Dan does.

They arrive at Phil’s house and Phil give him a short tour. Dan’s joke about how his house is actually the house from the Shining makes Phil smile so big it actually makes Dan’s heart hurt. They deposit Dan’s things in Phil’s room and go downstairs to order pizza and watch a movie. When they sit on the couch there is a full cushion between them and Dan feels the first hint of awkwardness between them since they started talking all those months ago. 

When the pizza arrives they eat silently and finish the movie. Phil suggests moving to his room to watch a movie on his laptop since it’s getting late and Dan agrees warily. The idea of laying in a bed with Phil watching a movie isn’t exactly what he wants to be doing right now. He would love to shut himself in the bathroom and sulk for a few hours but they go upstairs and each excuse themselves to the bathroom to change and its fine. He will be fine.

Phil starts up the movie and they lay in bed; Phil against the wall, Dan laying so close to the edge a decent sized yawn would topple him over. About 10 minutes into the movie Phil pauses it and pulls on one of Dan’s arms to bring him closer to the middle of the bed.

“I’m not going to bite you know,” Phil says, a small smile on his lips. Dan’s lips twitch back in response but he doesn’t say anything. They are almost touching here and Dan can smell that wonderful cologne again and it really isn’t fair he thinks. He put himself out there and got rejected and that was fine, but he shouldn’t have to be endlessly tortured. He tries to focus on the movie instead, he really does, but soon Phil’s fingers are brushing against his arm lightly and it’s far more distracting than it should be. 

Dan glances down at the contact. He blinks slowly and then looks up at Phil whose eyes are still on the screen.

“Everything okay?” He asks, not taking his eyes off the movie, his fingers not stopping their trek up and down Dan’s arm. Dan clears his throat, 

“Uh, yea. Everything’s fine.” Phil gives him another small smile and turns back to the laptop. Dan resolves to ignore the fingers, and just watch the movie. Which he starts to manage to do, until Phil moves, shifting so that he is on his back and his arm is practically wrapped around Dan. This time he does look at Dan though,

“Is this okay,” he asks, his voice low. Dan blinks a few times, feeling a bit short circuited. He nods and he tries not to focus on the pressure of Phil’s arm around him. But about 10 minutes later when Phil’s fingers start to rub small circles on his hip bone he decides he has to say something.

“Okay, I don’t know what’s going on. If you don’t like me in a more than friends way, that’s fine. And if you are just a super affectionate friend, that’s fine too. I just need to know, so that I can adjust my expectations and maybe throw out my boundaries.” Phil looks taken aback and Dan’s not sure by which part.

“Why would you think I didn’t like you? Of course I like you” Dan resists the urge to roll his eyes.

“Like, I know that you *like* me. But you pushed me away when I kissed you. That isn’t really something you do when you like someone as more than a friend.” Phil looks like he’s resisting rolling his eyes now and Dan almost wants to laugh. He sits up in the bed so he can properly look Dan in the eyes.

“I told you I couldn’t kiss you *there* and right then. Not that I didn’t want to kiss you at all. I like you so much and I was so happy you kissed me but, Manchester is still a shitty city sometimes and someone could have seen us. People still get beat up for that stuff and honestly that scares me. Plus we both have subscribers that live here. That’s the kind of thing we have to think about now. But it was not about the kiss. I wish it could have been a better moment. I’m sorry I ruined it.” 

It takes Dan a second to process all of the information Phil is telling him, because it’s a lot. He’s right about the public thing. There are still plenty of homophobes in the world who would gladly beat up two vaguely emo looking guys just cause they were kissing. And it didn’t even occur to Dan to think about subscribers because Dan has never had to worry about that before. But Phil has. He’s has to think about what he posts online, what he says and does when he’s in public because there is always a chance that someone from the internet could recognize him. Dan feels a bit naive for not thinking of it before.

“So you’re saying that you do like me? Maybe?” Dan asks. He can’t help but tack on the ‘maybe’ despite all that Phil has already said.

“Of course I do. Isn’t it obvious?” Dan actually does roll his eyes now. 

“Obviously not!” He says, throwing his hands in the air. Phil laughs, tongue poking between his teeth in that absolutely adorable way.

“Well I thought I was being obvious. I like you a lot. More than a friend like you, just to be clear.” He tries to wink but mostly just does an exaggerated blink which makes Dan’s heart stutter a bit which makes him feel a bit mortified by how completely gone he is for this dorky boy in front of him.

“Okay,” Dan says, smiling. He’s blushing and he doesn’t really know what to say but he’s happy. He wants to kiss Phil again but despite what he now knows he’s nervous. Phil seems to sense this and leans forward, taking Dan’s chin gently in his fingers. Their faces are so close Dan can see the freckles running across his nose and feel his warm breath against his lips.

“Can I kiss you?” Phil asks and Dan’s answer is to close the gap between them and press his lips to Phil’s. Dan’s kissed people before. Girls and even a few guys but none of them quite compare to kissing Phil. It’s not that he’s such an amazing kisser or anything. He’s actually a little awkward if Dan really thinks about it. He presses his lips just a tad too long, a little too wayward. But it’s better because it’s Phil. The person he’s liked for so long, who likes him back. 

Dan scoots closer and presses himself a little closer. Phil’s grip on his waist tightens a small amount and it sends a thrill up Dan’s spine. He presses his tongue against Phil’s lips, asking for entrance and Phil opens his mouth a little and then they are properly snogging and wow. Dan takes back any thoughts of Phil’s kisses being awkward because God, he knows exactly how to move his tongue against Dan’s. Somehow knows exactly how Dan likes to have his lips bitten and before he knows it Dan’s hard and flushed head to toe. 

He pulls back and lays down, gently pulling on Phil to lay on top of him and he could practically have an orgasm right here and now with the way that Phil is looking at him. Phil lays most of his body on Dan, keeping some of his weight on his elbows and resumes kissing Dan. They are close enough that Dan can feel the press of Phil’s erection against his thigh and his cock throbs at the knowledge that it’s him that’s getting Phil worked up.

They kiss for a little longer before Dan finally works up the courage to move his hand between them and start to reach for Phil. He stops just shy of where he can feel Phil’s cock pressed against him. He presses his fingers questioningly on the waistband of Phil’s jeans and he breaks their kiss momentarily to let out a breathy ‘please’ in Dan’s ear which makes Dan let out a high pitched whine that has him turning beet red. But before he can think too hard about it, Phil’s lips are on his neck, moving down towards his collarbone where he can suck a dark mark that can still be hidden by a t-shirt and Dan forgets why he was embarrassed.

He tries to focus on the task at hand and slips his hand between them and gets his fingers wrapped around Phil’s rather impressive erection. Phil lets out a low groan and thrusts his hips forward, causing his body weight to give Dan some of the friction he’s been craving. He lets out another loud whine before he can stop himself. Phil makes a pleased humming noise and grabs Dan’s hand from between them. Before Dan can protest Phil is grinding down onto Dan and he is seeing stars. He abandons all sense of pride and lets all of his whines and moans out, which seems to spur Phil on more. 

Soon they are kissing and grinding and it’s a little too much and Dan’s 18 year old body is closer than he wants to be. He has to pull away from Phil’s mouth and gently push his away before he comes in his pants like the teenager he is. Phil looks absolutely wrecked when he pulls back to give Dan space and it does nothing to help him cool down. 

“Are you okay?” Phil asks. His voice is lower than Dan has ever heard it and his lips are red and full from kissing and Dan instantly wants to jump him again.

“Yea,” Dan is panting slightly. “I just need to calm down a little…” he leaves the sentence unfinished, not wanting to give away just how worked up he is right now. But Phil seems to understand so he pulls them back down but just has Dan curl up next to him and wraps his arm around Dan. 

They both take deep breaths and Dan burrows closer to Phil. While kissing and grinding had been excellent he thinks this might actually be better. It’s almost like Phil can read his mind because he presses a kiss to Dan’s head and whispers softly,

“That was great, don’t get me wrong, but I really like this. I’ve been thinking about just holding you for so long.” Dan looks up and smiles, presses a light kiss to Phil’s lips. Dan tucks himself back into Phil’s side and closed his eyes. He thinks about getting up and changing but decides it can wait. Everything else can wait right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this while I was falling asleep so if it doesn’t make sense that’s why. It’s also my first non AU so be gentle please :)


End file.
